Navigating friendships even just being cordial with people can be tricky. When you add girls to the mix, it gets even more so. I’ve always been a fan of keeping the same energy with people – so if I don’t like you when I’m not around you, I won’t pretend to like you when you’re around. There really is no point because one day someone will call you out on it and if you’re on Instagram we recently saw how this played out at a high level.

A video of Tiwa and Seyi Shay trading words surfaced on a popular page. Apparently, Seyi Shay walked into a salon and attempted to say hi to Tiwa and Tiwa wasn’t having it at all. If you recall, years ago, Seyi Shay and Victoria Kamani made a song in a viral challenge where they dissed Tiwa and called her all sort of names. They insinuated she was lying about her age, and sleeping around, etc. Apparently, the two ladies haven’t seen each other since that happened. Omo, Tiwa was quick to check Seyi and put her in her place and rightfully so. She just wasn’t having the cordiality Seyi was trying to bring. How are you going to walk up to someone you dissed on a national level to just say hi as if nothing happened?

It really got me thinking. Ladies, I’m going to offer an unpopular opinion here. Why are we so fake in our friendships? Most of us can agree that more than 70% of girls will smile when they see you while talking smack behind you. Why do we do that? We are all grown, no one will beat you (wellll, unless you jam one Oshodi babe lol ) if you say what you think in front of people. Better still, don’t say anything and keep it moving.

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In this my journey (if you want to call it that) of being a “Lagos Big Girl,” I’ve found one key thing is being able to back up what you say and your actions as well. See how Tiwa was confident in asking Seyi what exactly she did to her to deserve the diss? She said “I haven’t slept with your man, I haven’t taken a job from you.” You can’t be that confident when you know you’ve been saying and doing one thing behind a person and something different in their presence.

To keep your head up and slay without anyone ‘staining your white’, you kinda have to own your actions and that means maintaining the same energy. There’s no point being known as the person who says different things based on who she’s with. It’s 2021 and baby girls aren’t doing that no more.

Till next week Ladies, keep the same energy in your dealings!