![Fwd: SPORTS FLAKES. THE NEXT EDITION. FRIDAY V victoria ibanga to me, chinwe 6 hours agoDetails Pls publish. > > SPORTS FLAKES : OKALA : CONQUEROR AND EMPEROR OF CAMEROUN Byline: Emeka Obasi Category: SPORTS Picture: Emeka Obasi > > Camerounians will live to remember Emmanuel Anthony Oguejiofo Okala as one goalkeeper that made them cry severally and remained shoulders above their soccer teams. Only once did the legend lose to Cameroun and it was after full and extra time. Before that stain, he tormented the Indomitable Lions in Yaoundé, stopped Canon Sportif in Lagos and dismissed Tonnerre Kalara in Calabar. > > Okala's first encounter with the Indomitable Lions was in a 1974 Yaoundé friendly. The Green Eagles defeated their hosts 1-0. Other members of the Nigerian squad included Harrison Mecha, Nathaniel Adewale, Christian Chukwu, Idowu Otubusin, Musa, Philip Boamah, Kenneth Olayombo and Mohammed Lawal. The rest were John Nwadioha, Haruna Ilerika and substitutes, Mike Okotie, Jossy Dombraye and Yakubu Mambo. > > The Camerounian strike force of Roger Milla, Eugene Ekoule, Djombi, and Ama found it most difficult to put the ball past Okala. Even when Doumbe Leah, Bahoken and Machongo joined the attack from the rear, the Nigerian keeper was unbeatable. The introduction of Gregoire Arantes Mbida made no difference. The only goal conceded was by Keeper Mballa. > > At the Algiers '78 All Africa Games, the Lions were in the same Group B with Eagles. Okala was in goal again and the Camerounians needed a win to qualify for the semi-finals. They remembered that Nigeria were defending champions and Okala was in the team that won gold at the Lagos '73 All Africa Games. The game ended goalless. Nigeria later advanced to the grand finale losing narrowly to hosts Algeria. > > The 1978 encounter came a year after Okala had turned Camerounians into day dreamers. On April 16, 1977, the first international match at the new Calabar Stadium was between Tonnerre Kalara of Yaoundé and Enugu Rangers. Tonnerre had won the first Africa Winners Cup in 1975 but lost it to Shooting Stars, Ibadan in 1976. They came with Roger Milla. The Flying Antelopes gave them a 5-1 drubbing as Okala's face seemed to put Milla in a deep blue funk. > > Later in the year, another Yaoundé side, Canon Sportif, confronted Rangers in the finals of the third Africa Winners Cup. That was the top club in Cameroun at the time and had won the Africa Cup for Champion Clubs [today's CAF Champions' League] in 1971. > > The first leg was decided in Lagos. Rangers were merciless, trouncing the visitors 4-1. Their goalkeeper was Thomas Nkono. He was forced to visit the net so often as his defence succumbed to the fire power of the Flying Antelopes. With Sam Onyeaka, Nwachukwu Onyekwelu, Chimezie Ngadi, Aloy Atuegbu and Emma Merenini in top shape, Okala had little to worry about. > > The return leg at the Stade Omnisport, Yaoundé was billed for December 4, 1977. Canon were so sure the first leg advantage would be erased. After all, they were not Tonnerre who could not cancel the same margin when they fell to Shooting Stars in 1976. Canon meant firepower, yes, it was 'Canon Kpakum'.They apparently did not know that Rangers had many ex -Biafran soldiers. Coach Godwin Achebe, the 'Ide' himself was even an Instructor at the Biafran School of Infantry. > > Canon started well and were leading with a goal when the referee called off the match. There was down pour, the field was turning into a swimming pool. The fans were not happy that the rain gave the visitors a breather. The match officials knew that if they allowed the game to continue, it could only pass for a water polo match. Both teams were asked to come back in 24 hours. > > The hosts still bubbled with confidence. Canon had scored 18 goals in six matches on the way to the finals. They gained a walk over against Red Star of Congo in the first round. Rangers had played eight games and could boast of nine goals. Canon did not score less than two goals in Yaoundé. They defeated SC Bissau 7-1, silenced Kadiogo 4-1 and hit El Itihad 2-0. > > Achebe stuck to his formation of Okala in goal with Charles Adimora, Nnamdi Anyafo, Vincent Chika, Christian Chukwu and Ignatius Ilechukwu as defenders. In the mid field, he opted for Aloy Atuegbu, Christian Madu and Ogidi Ibeabuchi. Sam Onyeaka and Nwachukwu Onyekwelu were attacking. Francis Nwosu later came in for Chika while Emma Merenini replaced Onyeaka. > > Canon , founded, in 1930 were 40 years older than Rangers. The opposition could not escape defeat, so the Camerounians thought. Onyekwelu had scored in the Lagos first leg. Known as 'Igariga' he was huge and powerful. While the hosts were settling down, the bulky attacker fired a shot from close to the center circle. Nkono did not see it. He heard his net shake. Canon got one goal too. > > Then it became tough. Okala refused to be beaten. Mbida tried his best. Jeane Manga Onguene put in everything. The goals were denied by the giant between the Flying Antelopes' post. Theophile Abega, the 'Doctor' could not sedate Okala. They found him a hard nut to crack. Yaoundé fans thought there must be something about the Nigerian keeper. The match ended 1-1, Rangers lifted the Cup. > > Canon could not bear that loss. They claimed that Rangers would not have won if there was no Okala. It became a big issue. Cameounians swore that Okala was a Camerounian who chose to play in Nigeria and they were ready to bring him back to their country to man the posts.. > > Blaming them was not the best way out. There are Okalas in Cameroun. The first Foreign Minister of Independent Cameroun was Charles Rene-Guy Okala. He was Ahmadu Ahidjo's man and best remembered as the man who stood up at the United Nations in 1961 to speak against British Northern Cameroun [Adamawa Province] joining Nigeria. Like Emma Okala, Charles Okala was a Roman Catholic. > > His daughter, Nicole Okala Bilai, is the first Camerounian woman to lead a political party and she is today, a Senator. The lady has gone round jobs, from acting to modeling. Like Emma Okala , she was born in May. > > Okala is also the name of a town in Cameroun. It is in the Centre Region. One of their famous footballers, Elie Onana Eloundou was born there. There was also President of that country's Table Tennis Federation, a man known as D. Okala. Many were convinced that the man who punished Canon was indeed one of them, the defeat was that painful. > > Okala returned to Yaoundé with Rangers in 1978. It was the semi finals of the prestige Africa Cup of Champion Clubs and foes were Canon. It ended goalless in the Lagos first leg. In Yaoundé there was heavy rain again but the referee refused to stop the match, another barren draw. Both teams went into penalty kicks. Canon won 6-5. That was the only time the Camerounians enjoyed a better hand. > > With Okala out of the way, Canon were unstoppable. They won the CAF Champions League in 1978, lifted the Africa Winners Cup in 1979 and grabbed the CAF Champions League again in 1980. > > Okala must have had a good laugh. One of his younger brothers is Charles, but did not last long in soccer as a goalie. Patrick was going to step into his brother's shoes. He played in the grand finale of the Cote D'Ivoire '84 Africa Nations Cup. Nigeria lost 3-1 to Cameroun. At last Milla and Abega had beaten Okala but not Emmanuel. In 1988 and again in 2000, the Indomitable Lions defeated Eagles to win the Nations Cup. > > Emma Okala put Cameroun in his gloves all through his playing career. He was voted African Footballer of the Year by African Sports Journalists Union in 1978. Okala conquered Cameroun. When he quit, Nkono heaved a whiff of fresh air and attended three World Cups.](https://www.nextedition.com.ng/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/download-1-200x150.jpeg "SPORTSFLAKES: EZIDINMA’S DIRE DAWA DEBUT")
Dating is a game without any hard and fast rules. The dynamics of the game vary among individuals, cultures and circumstances.
When dating, the success or otherwise of the relationship depends on how the two people involved can harness the various dynamics and make them work in their favour.
In dating a single mother, there are few things to take into cognisance if you desire a successful relationship.
Below are some tips on how to successfully date a single mum.
The Game is Different
The first rule to dating a single mother is understanding her situation. She doesn’t have as much time as a single lady would. There will be times she will come to you exhausted from taking care of her kid(s). She also knows exactly what she wants or doesn’t want and that will tend to make her more direct in a relationship. While some Nigerian men may see this trait as desperate ( and it’s a possibility in some cases ), this can be an attractive one. You will be courting a woman who knows her mind, knows exactly who and what she spends her time on and is decisive. So if she’s dividing her time with you, she wants to be there.
Her Children will Always be Number One
The single mother will always put her children first (expect in the rare cases). You cannot be dating a single mum and gauge her love for you versus her love for her children. While in a relationship with a woman with no children you can gauge how much she’s into you by how much time she spends with you both offline and online, the same can’t be said for a single mum. She has to provide for her kids, be there for school plays, help with homework after school so even after she is back from work she has to attend to them. This does not mean you are not a priority, that is just how it is.
Instead of building resentment for what she shares with her children, look for the other ways she shows her love for you. Does she still manage to check in over the phone with you after a hard day’s work? Does she make you feel special by dropping off a meal she made? Does she ensure the times you do spend together are extra special? Is the sex extra good? These are all ways you can know while she may not spend much time with you, she definitely has much love for you.
You are not her children’s Father
Allow your relationship with her kids to develop naturally. You are not a replacement father or even a step dad (if you are not yet married). Talk to her openly and ask her how involved she wants you to be. Do not try to buy her love by buying gifts for the kids and showing them extra love. Talking about it will help you and her so there is no confusion. It is also not advisable to want to be ‘too much’ in the kid’s life ‘too fast’ as you don’t yet know that you are going to be in their lives for the long haul.
Let Your Girlfriend Discipline Her Own Children
Never disciple her child/children! This doesn’t mean you are to silently endure any disrespect or infractions from them. Instead of openly scolding the child or spanking, report the issue to her. Let her lead in how her kids will be disciplined. The only time you discipline her kid is when she directly gives you the go ahead to do so.
READ ALSO: 10 Unhealthy Relationship Myths To Stop Believing
Do not be a biased Referee
Stay clear of issues with her and her ex. You can listen and offer general advice but do not ‘bad-mouth’ him. She may be giving you the story from her own point of view so always assume you don’t know the entire story. You can offer support without being biased. Your go to attitude with matters concerning her child/children’s dad is politeness, good advice and encouragement. If there’s tension with her ex, let your girlfriend handle it. Do not act like you want to fight him for her. Never contact her ex on her behalf expect in dire circumstances (extreme ill-health, etc). If they are in court battling over custody, don’t get involved.
Take it Easy
Do not be in a hurry to make big gestures. Give the relationship time to develop. Moving in, getting engaged should be done after careful thought and after enough time has passed. She needs time to develop trust for you before you take it to the next level. It goes without saying, if you aren’t looking for something serious, let her know that as well. Don’t play with the feelings of a single mum.
Prove Yourself
Dating a single mum is especially tricky because of others who came before you. There is always a story with regards to her baby daddy and in most cases the man may have ‘disappointed’ her. You have to work extra hard to gain her trust where she’s comfortable with the menfolk again. Be responsible to her without being responsible for her.
Be an emotional support
As a single mum, she is under a tremendous amount of pressure to provide for her child financially and emotionally. You need to be the one safe place where she can ‘offload’. Be the one who listens to the things she’s going through without trying to “solve” every problem for her. She doesn’t need management, she needs a listening ear and understanding. She is most likely a strong woman as most single mums are and she will work out her issues in time. You can wade in only when it’s clear that’s what she needs from you at that time. Offering support and encouragement along the way will help you build a stronger bond together.
Listen to Your Intuition
You’re the only one who can know whether dating a single mum is right for you or not. She should not be just an ‘experiment’. Don’t get caught up in listening to family members or friends who will try to discourage you or suggest that she’s just looking for a father figure. You will know if this is true or not when you pay attention to her and not them.
Dating a single mum is definitely a herculean task but one that has great benefits. She’s no different from any other woman, she just happens to have kids. You however, have to be sure you want to be with her with that as a factor in the relationship.
