The Nigerian culture places a lot of emphasis on relationships and marriage. Humans were meant to procreate so from a biological standpoint, coupling makes sense. Most people want to get into relationships and eventually get married.
Friends and family often ask single people who are of age who they are dating, when they will be getting married, and so on. If married, they ask when are the kids coming. The pressure from society to get married is usually high and constant.
This pressure doesn’t take into consideration those who are single by choice, those who haven’t found the right one. Should they be pressured into dating?
There are benefits to staying single, it has its pros and cons. When the pressure gets to you, remember the pros. You can even use some of them to tell off those well meaning family members and friends.
The Pros
Freedom
Being single gives you the freedom to basically do what you want. There’s no one to check in with before you make plans. You can go out with friends without worrying about that one person in the group your partner doesn’t get along with.
Control
Being single gives you control. If you are part of a married couple, you have to control finances together, agree on how to raise the kids, choose what carpet you want in the living room, etc.
When you’re single, the buck stops with you. You are in control. You can decide by yourself to redo your kitchen and you don’t have to compromise with someone on the colour.
No annoyances
The things that bring fights in relationships and marriages are the little annoyances. Who didn’t drop the toilet seat after peeing, who didn’t do the dishes, who watched too much TV too late in the night, the list goes on.
When you’re single, there’s none of that! You’re most likely the person who didn’t do the dishes so you can’t be angry at yourself, you can watch TV till dawn if you want to and there will be no one who felt neglected waiting for you in bed. There is no one to have the little bickering fights with!
Time
As a single woman or man, you have more time on your hands.Time to focus on your work, education and yourself. Take this time to explore new and healthy hobbies, experience and enjoy life as much as possible because that may not happen once you become the other half in a couple.
The Cons
Money
There’s less money to go round in a couple situation because it’s double the bills. More money is spent on dates and that sort of thing so being in a relationship actually affects your pocket.
Help Partner
When single, you may have the control to do what you want but you don’t have help. There’s no one to run ideas by, no one to help you bring down something from the top shelf of your newly done kitchen, etc. The little things don’t seem so little anymore when you don’t have someone to help you:
Loneliness
When you’re single you have no one to share your life with. Even if you have kids, they will grow up and leave the house one day. Your friends have their partners and can’t be with you the way a significant other would.
No one situation is perfect. There are always pros and cons. Whether you are single by choice or by circumstance, or you just haven’t found the right one, it’s best to focus on the pros not the cons while you wait for your soulmate.
