Courtships and Relationships used to be a giddy affair. Before the advent of phones, then smart phones, social media, etc the language of love was spoken in a different manner. The same is not the case today. With the advent of the DMs, the love language has been watered down.
It usually started in Secondary Schools, especially mixed Secondary schools. Your ‘crush’ or love interest as the case may be, will write you a letter on scented papers. This letter would either be given by hand, usually by his or her friend who would act as a middle man or dropped into your locker or class desk as a surprise. Upon discovery or receiving, the girl usually would giggle and rush off into a corner to open and read the letter or note.
The amount of thought and sometimes research that go into selecting the words, the carefulness in writing and spacing the words; everything was carefully put in place to make the message attractive to the receiver. Most people in this era, left school with a stash of letters still stored away at a corner in their boxes, they would pull out from time to time to read to their excitement.
Cards especially postcards that said it all were also purchased during breaks and brought to school on resumption so as to convey your feelings to your love interest. These were also kept and fawned over by the recipient and her friends and were greatly cherished. All these experiences were enough and encompassed how relationships started and were built. As simple as the practice was, love was expressed in these ways and there was really no need to rush into intimacy.
In today’s world, sweet romance like this seems to have lost its place and texture. Text messages, BBM, and WhatsApp messages, “sliding into DMs” are now the norm. These have all replaced writing full letters on papers that are properly spelt out and convey real feelings.
To make it even worse, these texts are full of abbreviated words and emojis that really don’t carry any weight. It may be the language of love for the time but how does it really show one’s feelings when you can send the same thing and emojis to your other contacts? Romance is no longer special and has been reduced to a love emoji of different colours.
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There is also the language of money replacing romance in relationships. A partner buys a new phone to show his appreciation to a lover and the phone further drives them apart as it replaces face to face communication. This is not saying it is bad, but apart from buying gifts like this, are couples really taking time out to ‘love themselves’?
In the not too far past, ladies also used to take time to prepare a meal, put it in their mother’s best food flask or coolers and take it to their boyfriends as a sign of love. Today, as the boyfriend is coming, she is making up to go out for food in a setting that does not encourage two people who want to know themselves to do so.
In this fast paced world, romance is dying off as well. This may be the reason why the divorce rate is going up as no one is taking time to be romantic.
Take time out and be romantic towards your partner. Gift giving is good in any relationship but it shouldn’t replace actually spending time together; anyone can walk into a store or order a gift for someone but not everyone can take out time to write a letter choosing words carefully as well as making sure the writing is the best.
Romance simply means ‘a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.’ Gifts may give excitement but the best gifts are usually the ones where a lot of thought is put into it and the focus is not the money that was spent on it.
