Our society expects us to respect our elders be they our parents or parents in-law, relations, and others. It doesn’t matter if we are treated rightly or wrongly. If your spouse talks rudely to any of your parents, especially in public, what would be your reaction? Here are some responses from those spoken to by The Next Edition.
Zephyr Splendour: a student: This would be one of the issues I and my spouse need to talk about during our courtship. As for being respectful to his parents, I would be but they should not overstep their bounds or take me for a ride. I should be respected as their son’s wife and I will in turn respect them, as they say respect is reciprocal.
Azogor Ideba: Every marriage or relationship should be built on love, care and respect for it to work. Respect is reciprocal as it is a vital ingredient. There is no individual who would be pleased about his or her spouse being disrespectful to the parents. It is something that could lead to many things.
Friday Ukwuchome Egwemi: a married man: I would not take such from her because I would not disrespect her parents. I believe the moment we got married, my parent became hers and hers mine. If you can’t disrespect your parents, why would you disrespect mine? I know there are times that our parents step out of bounds and push to the limits, but to tackle a situation like that, you need to dialogue with them in a subtle manner; making them see reasons with you that what has happened was wrong and that if it ever repeats itself you will not take it likely.
Miriam Preye, hairdresser: My fiance’s mum already knows her limits. She already knows that if there’s any disagreement or misunderstanding between both of us, we need to address the issue amicably to avoid it degenerating into fights and insults.”
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Liz Pat a self-employed: I would first of all know what caused the disagreement that led to the insult or disrespect. I would find out from both parties (my spouse and my parents) to discern if my husband was right in being disrespectful or not.
Stephen Amechi: Different strokes for different folks, an adage says. In line with this adage, I would advise that no matter what your in-laws do to you, it doesn’t amount to disrespect. They were the ones who raised your spouse. There is no good reason to be disrespectful to them. That is why it is imperative for couples to have a very deep discussion about this because it is a sensitive issue before marriage.
Sylvia Oqua: Before we got married we discussed extensively on the issue and brought it before our parents. Some couples lack the will power to address issues like this, they overlook it and later it degenerates into a massive unpleasant trouble. Proffering solutions to the issue of how our parents should or would be treated must be discussed as you both plan your marriage.
Princess Moses: This is the reason for the rising rate of divorce and separations in the society. Some people give excuses of their spouses being wicked and arrogant to their parents but this is not an ideal reason for divorce although that is how we see it now.
Chima Njoku: I would advise all intending couples to bond with their potential parents’ in-law before tying the nuptial knots. In order to have peace in your marriage, take from my point of view, I took my fiancée to my hometown to spend some days with my mum so that they could get along with each other well and ease the process of sorting their differences in the future. All intending couples need to do that to avoid any form of disrespect and trading of blames.
There should be a level of understanding between couples before they get married especially with regards to how the parents of either the man or woman would be treated. What you would not tolerate, don’t do it to someone else. Respect should be mutual.
