These days we have people who have perfected the art of being happy – On the gram! To use the internet slang, you see a lot of pictures with ‘bae’, pictures of us ‘ballin’, pictures where everything is on FLEEK!! If we want to go by Social Media, Nigeria is not in recession, everyone’s marriage is heaven on earth, and we are all just doing great! But we all know that’s not the case.
There’s nothing wrong in sharing on social media your highs and what you want, but all the over sharing especially of what isn’t true to what end? Are you really happy or are you just pretending for the ‘gram? There’s no harm in opening up your life online if that’s what floats your boat neither am I saying if we know when you’re happy, we should know when you’re sad as well. But where it goes bad is because of the image you put out, you may end up losing out.
Say you’re a young man and all you post on social media is how you are balling ( albeit fake ) when you know you need a job, how do you expect the same social media friends to tag you on a post about where and how to apply for jobs or the like? Because as far as Social media is concerned, you are balling! You don’t need a job! So you lose opportunities that may have come to you because you were too busy ‘fake ballin’! There’s a quote that goes “Too many people are afraid to start because they don’t want everyone to know they are starting from the bottom.” The fact remains that you can’t do something and solicit help from clients online, which happens to be one of the greatest tools to do business these days because your profile has already established and can’t be asking people for startup capital and all that.
To those in ‘perfect’ relationships / marriages only for the gram, this is a serious issue. Here’s why. You can’t ask for help when you appear not to need it. Again, I’m not saying that being perfectly ‘beaued’ up on the gram is bad, quite the opposite. I love seeing such pictures, love is a beautiful thing. We are not also alluding to the common day-to-day issues every relationship goes through. No. Where there’s a disconnect is where Sister A is posting ‘My husband is God’s gift to me’ just as you’re putting on makeup to cover the black eye he gave you the night before. Are you really happy or are you happy because you think that’s what we want to see? Or are you happy because you think being happy online gives you some superiority over the rest of us? If you are ‘happy’ how can you be real and admit to needing advice/counseling? This also tends to lead a lot of young girls astray! Because you are painting a picture of something that is not realistic and here goes a young girl having expectations because of what she has seen!
What makes it even worse is that we have come to believe that seeking help or seeing someone asking for help is a sign of weakness. It just doesn’t add up! Abroad, even people in healthy relationships go for counseling, just to keep things smoothly moving and solve problems even before they become a problem. We put up an article here a little over a week ago on how about seven million Nigerians have suffered from depression and stress. This is the kind of depression that is slowly killing you inside your AC house and seven million naira car! Because you are busy faking happiness than seeking for help for a problem before you sink into depression! We have become so afraid of seeking help and now problems escalate to breaking points.
Which is more important – To be happy for real or to have the appearance of being happy? The next time you want to pretend for the ‘gram, (Yes, we all do it sometimes) be sure it’s not for something that will ultimately be adverse to your life. Because the idea that we try to impress people we may never meet in real life is really a dysfunction that we should all personally address. Your helper may be on that same social media (and these days, those chances are steadily increasing) and because you’re ‘ok’ online, he or she doesn’t see the need to step in. So be happy, really happy and not just because you think that’s the image you need to put out.
