Relationship starts when two people decide that they love themselves enough to be together. The love then fosters the relationship and builds it. Sometimes, partners claim to fall out of love and the relationship suffers. Men and women often say I want my partner to love more than I love them. I remember while growing up, my mother used to say to me “it is important for a man to love you more than you love him”. When I asked her why, she said “you can do shakara for him and he will still never leave you, he would respect and value you so much “. She also said if the the case is reversed, the man may not value the woman’s love and he may not do as it is deemed fit without any form of losing the woman.
I wouldn’t say I totally agree with her. Although, she may have a point.
But for the success of a relationship, should the man be more in love than the woman? Or should the woman be more in love so as to help her forgive his excesses?
The Next Edition asked: “Who shoud love more in a relationship and why? Here are the responses:
Abodunrin Oluwatobi (Accountant): First, I feel both parties should love each other equally, but then, it is the nature of the woman to love naturally and when a woman is in love, her direction focuses on the man she loves alone. She wouldn’t be bothered about anyone else, but a man can love a woman and still cheat on that same woman, because men are attracted by what they see. So, relatively a man should love more because naturally a woman’s love comes easily. All a woman needs to do Is to submit to her man, but a man must love more. Even in marriage, the man should still love more, the woman will believe that there’s no where she’s going to in the marriage, but some men will still want to have some side chicks outside. But then, if the man loves the woman more, he wouldn’t look outside.
Dolapo Fasipe (Entrepreneur/consultant): The woman should love more, the truth is that a man is wired to love as much as he probably can. However, he stucks where he feels most loved. So regardless of the number of women he might probably be flirting with or the number of wives he’s married to, there’s always this one woman that he will always honour and, trust me, you don’t need a man’s love as much as you would ever need his honour. On the contrary, for ladies, the success of the marriage or relationship is focused on their emotions. A woman either loves you or she doesn’t. Whenever she stops loving you, there’s no going back to make it work. That only makes it worse.
Wunmi Mensah (Student): I would say the guy should love more, he is stronger in heart and emotions. Because, if the lady loves more than the guy, there’s every tendency that the relationship would crumble, that is why when a guy loves, no matter the level of provocation and gossips about his babe, he sticks because he’s in love but when a lady loves more, the guy tends to take advantage of her because she is a weaker vessel and at that point, she is loving in her mind but not with her head. Guys love with their head and the heart for the one they love. So I think it should be a mutual thing first of all but it should be greater on the guy’s side. When a guy loves 100% that relationship is unshakable.
Peculiar Osasogie (fashion designer): Well, there’s no rule for who to love more, but from experience, women mostly love more especially after marriage. That is why people would say the man should love more during relationship before marriage. That is when he does the chasing and convincing. But after marriage, it might not remain the same. It is not because the man doesn’t love but because men are not as emotional as women.
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David Okhaderia (business man): Both should love more. The Bible emphasises man because of man’s tendency to cheat. Love should be mutual without any level of measurement.
Esther Charles (fashion designer): Love should be mutual in a relationship. Although, for some ladies selfish reasons, we feel that the guy should love more. However, if you end up with someone who loves you more, at some point, you begin to ask yourself “does he deserve me?”, I think I need someone better, he is choking me and all that, then she starts having divided attention, whereas the one she will meet next will be someone she’ll love more that will not even have her time. So it’s best to keep it mutual.
Ben Effi (Teacher): Both should love more, as a matter of fact, it ought to be a contest, each party should try to prove that he/she loves more. However, based on our culture on this side of the planet, I believe the guy should love more, because when the lady shows that, it appears as though she’s desperate. After understanding the guy, she could go ahead and freely show love.
John Adebayo (Photographer): The lady should show more love in a relationship because the success of the relationship lies in her hand. In marriage, when a woman shows more love to her husband and being submissive, her husband will be happy and rest assured that he’s blessed with a good family. I believe when the woman shows more love in a relationship, all is going to be balanced and the man must also cherish her and love her at least 90% and the woman 110%
Deborah Okafor (student): The guys should love more. Ladies tend to love easily and the moment we love, we love completely. Guys love with their heads while ladies love with their hearts. If a guy loves the lady more, he will do everything to keep her let alone hurt her feelings.
Abiola Adisa (Banker): For me, love means different things to a man and a woman. A woman can’t love the way a man will and vice versa. So both of them should love according to their uniqueness.
In conclusion, however, someone loving you ‘more’ by being expressive and acting it wouldn’t be a bad idea, but what are you bringing to the table also?
It’s advisable to go into a relationship with the intention of loving your partner wholeheartedly, show your partner how much you love him/her and let it not be a contest of who should love more between you and your partner, that way you will have a wonderful relationship/marriage.
Enjoy your relationship.