Widows should not be pitied but encouraged and empowered to live a full and normal life.
Founder, Dr. Olusegun Emmanuel Afolabi Memorial Foundation (DREAMFO) , Mrs. Bunmi Ojo Afolabi, said this in Lagos on Friday at an empowerment programme and medical outreach for widows, organised in Lagos.
The programme was put together in conjunction with Young Widows Might Foundation.
According to Mrs. Afolabi, a UK based social worker, “the perspective of people is that when you are a widow, they should pity you and some widows seek the pity. I want to change that perspective so that they know that being a widow does not mean your life has ended.”
She challenged the widows to pick themselves up and move on with life after mourning their husbands.
“I’m not saying they should get married or not get married. That’s not my concern. I want them to stand up and look after their children. I want them to know they can still make it, that it can still get better,” she said.
Mrs. Daramola Kehinde, an architect and a young widow and founder of Young Widows Might, noted that it was important for widows to have a support group, which would at all times encourage them.
“There will always be a widow at every point in time. So, I want to build a Foundation that will help widows come out of their grief as soon as possible and also help them survive,” she said.
The programme which was themed “Forgiveness and Healing” saw widows coming together to network in what Mrs. Kehinde called “widows helping widows.”
Speaking to the widows, Olori Ayo Yemisi Jaiyeola, of God’s Wives International, a widows empowerment organisation, urged widows to stop waiting for handouts.
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She admonished them to use their talents to gain financial freedom.
“Widows should start networking. Take action, borrow money to start a business. The world labels widows as poor, it mustn’t be so. Do something to inspire yourselves,” she charged them.
She lamented the fact that most widows had some skills before the death of their husbands but upon the death of their spouses, bury the talents along with the men.
For Mrs. Zainab Ogbede, a South African based Civil Engineer and widow every woman who has lost her spouse must find her own path to healing.
However, she said, it must start with acknowledging that there were issues to be addressed.
At the event, the widows were taught how to make pastries, liquid soap and fish farming.
They were also equipped with tools such as chin chin cutter, fish tanks, shoe making machines and chemicals for soap making.
Speaking on the idea behind the medical outreach, Mrs. Afolabi said, “a lot of widows don’t have the facilities to go to hospitals. It is not enough to empower them with skills. If we teach them to make money and they are not healthy, we are wasting our time.”
The women were tested for hepatitis b, blood sugar and blood pressure.
There were doctors on hand for consultation and drug prescription.
The organisers also made available free drugs for the widows.