There’s a trend that’s fast becoming the norm. If you haven’t heard it, perhaps, your ears are not on ground, as they would say it. Young men in Nigeria are now on the prowl for financially stable women to bear children for them. Don’t squeeze your your nose! That’s a fact.
> Unlike in the past, when men didn’t mind the status of the ladies, today, they are more concerned, as the tide is swinging like a pendulum. The labour market used to be dominated by men but today, women are holding sway in what used to be a male dominated area.
The Next Edition gathered that more ladies are getting employed in corporate organizations. This, on one hand, is a positive development for women rights and empowerment. But on one hand, there is a social disadvantage for both young men and women who want to start a family; if you can read between the lines.
Traditionally, especially in Africa, the man is the head of the family. One of the major ways he stamps his authority is via his financial power. For a young man to get married he also needs to be gainfully employed.
However, without a job, it would be almost impossible for young men to get married and start a family. Today, the youth unemployment rate is on the rise. It would make it even more difficult for them to get married.
In Nigeria and in some other parts of the world, it is not common for a lady to ask for a man’s hand in marriage. If she does that, the implication may be that she is desperate. The man may even take advantage of her or take a walk to register his disapproval.
What some men are doing now, according to the findings of The Next Edition, is that they look for ladies who are gainfully employed to impregnate. That makes economic sense, if you ask me. In some cases, they do it with the consent of the ladies. This is common with men who are in their thirties and no longer have the patience to get a job before settling down. They are desperately in need of a child so they turn to ladies who are also in their thirties and desperately in need of children.
The ladies in this equation must be gainfully employed or doing business. They have to be financially buoyant, not necessarily millionaires but enough income to take care of their child or children in some cases.
Bello Lawal, told The Next Edition that he was pushed to the wall when he searched for a job for four years after his National Youth Service Corps (NYSC). “I searched for a white collar job but to no avail. I studied Agriculture and tried getting loans from micro-finance banks to start my poultry or fish farm business but I didn’t get because I had nothing to use as collateral. I was 32 at the time and desperate and there was no sign that I would make it in life. I am someone who loves children and I thought about having my own someday.
“Luckily for me I was introduced to Angela (not real name) who was also in need of a child as age was not on her side. Angela was 34 years old. I agreed because I was also in need of a child and knew that she was capable of taking care of our child because she had a lucrative business. We gave birth to a lovely girl.
“We were not romantically attached at first but two years after our first child, I was able to get some money to start my business. I started becoming more responsible for the sake of the child. One thing led to another and today, we are happily married with three kids,” he said.
In a similar vein, Chukwudi Ogbonna said, “If I see a rich lady who is in need of a child, I will readily impregnate her. I’m optimistic that one day, God will bless me but what if I’m close to 50 years of age by then? I need< to get my life moving and one of the best ways is to have a child. This year I will be 33. My father had me when he was 27, so what am I waiting for?” He queried.
A Lagos-based woman in her early 40’s spoke with The Next Edition on the condition of anonymity, saying that she has been involved in match-making for the past five years. In a telephone chat, she said, “I hook up men and women who want children of their own but for one reason or the other they haven’t been able to get married. For the guys, they complain they want children but they have no money to settle down. For the ladies who are doing well financially, they complain that they have no men to call their own. In our world men do the proposing so these women unfortunately meet the wrong type of men who only promise marriage, sleep with them and leave.”
Asked if she is proud of what she does, she said, “I am providing service to people who need it. This isn’t prostitution in any form so I don’t feel guilty. In fact, money isn’t exchanging hands here. I do it for free.”
The Next Edition also discovered that this is becoming a common practice among the youth due to societal pressure. These people see their mates happily married and also want to do the same. Since one of the main reasons for marriage is procreation, they (men) don’t want to miss out in both ways. They are ready to impregnate any lady who they know has the financial wherewithal to take care of their children without asking them for assistance moneywise, hoping to make it later in life. That way, they ease the pressure.
Guys, what’s your take on this issue?