With the increase in the havoc caused through cyberbullying in recent times following the popularity of the social media, many have never ceased to wonder how they can be saved. ASIAN NKUTT writes on the trend and how to handle the situation that often times turns terrible.
Bullying is a term almost everyone understands and with the popularity of the internet and social media, cyber bullying has also become a very present and growing scourge. According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary of Current English, cyberbullying is “the activity of using messages on social networking sites, e-mails, text messages, etc to frighten and upset somebody.”
The debate on this development usually centres on the fact that since all bullying is not done physically as with traditional bullying, recipients should not see themselves as being victimized.
However, according to an article by Stephanie Pappas published in the Scientific American, social media cyberbullying has been linked to depression in teenagers.
A random study of 457 students in a school in Mid-western USA showed that at least 34.4% have been cyberbullied at least once in their lifetime. This is a number that appears to be steadily growing.
Current statistics show 84.2% of cyberbullying from Facebook, 23.4% from Instagram and 21.4% from Twitter. These numbers were compiled in August 2017.
The Nigerian social media space has also become increasingly volatile. 653 students in Oyo State were selected via sampling and information on harassment via an electronic medium during a three month period was obtained. Results showed that 156 had harassed someone online, 260 had been victimized, 137 had both been victims and perpetuators.
Cyberbullying can lead to a lot of things such as depression, anxiety, emotional stress, physiological stress and even suicide as has been seen in some parts of the world.
Coming out of The Big Brother House in 2017, Kemen one of the housemates had to deal with a lot of cyber bullying. This internet trolling had started way before his disqualification and only increased after it.
Considering the enormity of its effect, the question many have asked is how should anyone handle such a situation.
Speaking with The Next Edition Kemen talked about his experience and how he handled it.
Said he: “One can’t deny the fact that cyberbulling will get to you as a human; for a whole lot of us we care about what is being said about us online. One of the ways I dealt with it was that I understood that no one really cares about you as you do. You have to first of all consider who these people bullying you are. If they have a valid right and if the bullying is your fault or your problem.
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“You also need to understand a lot of internet users have an identity problem. A young man once walked up to me at the airport, the way he was smiling, he expected me to know him. We shook hands, he mentioned his name and his Instagram name and said ‘na me dey curse you pass’. I still didn’t know him and told him so. As I walked past, I could see the disappointment on his face. I took note of that account and looked out for it but it never popped up again in my comments.
“Internet bullies say things because they are looking for a way to get to you not really because they mean it but they want you to notice them and also be noticed by others. I understood that it is not something I can control but something that I can choose to walk away from.”
Kemen said he dealt with the situation in two ways.
“I delete the comment so that I don’t see it again or I block the account.
“The other way is by replying a comment in more educating manner.”
According to him, someone posted a picture of a bull dog and said “What would you do if you turn around this is behind you?” Another person replied with ‘see as e look like Kemen.’
“I replied that person with “For a second looking at your picture, I thought you were responsible. No wonder they say never judge a book by the cover.” I didn’t abuse him back or anything of the sort. He immediately replied the comment and apologised and even came into my direct message and apologised again.”
He said the problem with many people in the country was that they liked to follow a trend, hence, when one person hauls an insult, ten others follow.
“They respond based on how they have analyzed a situation so they throw jabs at you from their level. It is left for you to educate them; some would take it and some would act like your intelligent response didn’t get to them but won’t continue, apologise or thank you. “There are those that are sleeping and those that are pretending to be sleeping. It is easy to wake up the one sleeping but you can’t wake up the one pretending as he was never sleeping in the first place.
“Cyberbullying is about ignorance and bias. In the midst of 10 internet trolls, five are ignorant and five are biased. The most important part in all this is that if there is a lesson to learn from the subject or reason of the bullying, take it,” Kemen said.
A frequent internet user, Charis Akpabio also spoke on the same issue.
“I don’t think it Is right; people should be allowed to live their lives. I have experienced it a few times; I dished it back to the person as I was dished. I only reply the ones I feel I should reply, I don’t rely fake accounts. My way of dealing with it is to reply based on how they come at me, to be sarcastic, be smart or block.
“Yes I have cyberbullied too, though not purposely. I bullied someone in defense of a friend. I don’t know if that counts as I was defending someone.”
The other means of handling the situation.
To prevent cyberbullying, it is advised that users on various social platforms should always keep their passwords on their devices protected and refrain from divulging personal information to people, refrain from opening messages from unknown people or usernames that frequently exhibit bullying characteristics.
They should always log out of all social media accounts when not in use and report all hacks immediately to the platform as it occurs and using privacy settings on social media.
For example, Facebook can help you control who sees your posts, pictures and who sends you messages.
Some tips on how to handle Cyberbullying:
The first thing to do when cyberbullied is to block the account. Almost all social media platforms have this feature. This makes you inaccessible to this particular account. You can also make sure your account is private in some cases. This ensures only people approved by you can reach you.
Cyberbullying is very convenient for the perpetuators as it affords them anonymity especially bullying done from faceless accounts. Even with the bullying done with a real account also has some anonymity as you can’t see the person in that instance. It is important for a victim to know that because of these, their words do not have power.
Consider making a clever comeback as that might make them rethink their course of action. Don’t be abusive in return as most times this is the reaction they are going for.
If you find that online remarks are getting to you, talk to someone. It is a downward spiral when any form of bullying is internalized and not shared.
If you have a stronger constitution, ignore them.
Sometimes no reaction can make bullying cease.
Go offline immediately if the bullying is by way of chat.
By doing this you cease to make yourself a target and force them to disengage.
Keep records. In instances where cyberbullying increases and gets dangerous, keeping records by way of screen shots is a good course of action.
Take time off a particular platform if the pressure gets too much.
Look for a report button to alert the handlers of the platform. If an account gets reported too often or enough times, the account can get shut.
Ultimately, know that it is not real life. What an internet troll says cannot control or impact your life. Yes, it can get to you but try to move past it.