As the world marks World Global Day of Parents, a day set aside to appreciate parents for selfless love and commitment to their children, Assistant Editor, CHINWE MADUAGWU, reports that though children often appear to take parents for granted, they value them deep inside.
A popular saying usually found inscribed on the body of some commuter buses says; “to be a man is not a day (sic) job.” That may well be said about being a parent.
Parenting, indeed, is not an easy job and there is no retirement age. Some times it is a thankless job whereby the ones you are labouring for and doing your best to mold into responsible and useful beings, for their own good, end up taking you as their worst enemy. Still, the work must go on.
Elizabeth Stone, an American Librarian and educator, once said; “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Often times, in spite of your best efforts as a parent you are rarely in control of the outcome, yet you cannot opt out.
Parenting is a labour of love that many times is interspersed with heartaches. It is also always a joy to married couples when a child arrives.
Recognising the difficulties and challenges that come with parenting, the United Nations in 2012, declared June 1, the Global Day of Parents. According to the UN, the day provides an opportunity to appreciate all parents in all parts of the world for their selfless commitment to children and their lifelong sacrifice towards nurturing the relationship.
Emphasising the critical role of parents in the rearing of children, the Global Day of Parents recognises also that the family has the primary responsibility for the nurturing and protection of children. For the full and harmonious development of their personality, children should grow up in a family environment and in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding, which is what parents labour to provide.
As the world celebrates parents today, the Next Edition spoke to some young ones on whether it was possible to place a value on the contributions of parents in the lives of their children and what value they place on their parents’ efforts and to some parents on the business of parenting.
Rotimi Afolabi, said they were invaluable. “You cannot put a monetary value on the love and support provided by your parents because it comes from the heart.
“It’s not all about spending money on you, parenting involves constant thoughts about one’s child. It’s just like asking if someone can pay a parent not to think about his/her child. For me personally, I know my parents have attached emotions and their time to me and I don’t think there’s any amount of money that can cover that. Their contributions in my life and the lives of my brother and sisters cannot be measured,” he said.
For Victor Ihugba, nobody can ever repay their parents. His words, “the whole thing started from the pre-nursery stage, all the love and affection shown, like taking you to school even at that stage where you know nothing. All the money spent on you down till the secondary school, which I am in now, has gotten to millions. Forgetting the monetary aspects the affection, the disciplining, the planning and all the other things parents do for their children cannot be paid back with just common currencies.”
Chigozie Erigo, was most emphatic that monetary value cannot be placed on what parents do for their children. “I most definitely cannot place a monetary value on the love and support my parents have shown and given to me because they have invested a lot more than money into me; they have invested their love, and effort, they have invested their time and resources amongst other things. I still say that I cannot place a monetary value on the love my parents have for me.”
Abigail Dominic, told the Next Edition that it was not possible to put a value to the love and support of parents. “I can’t begin to place a value on what they have invested in me and my siblings. I have an elder sister who is married, but my parents still worry about her and her family. Whenever we are praying, they must mention her family, asking God to bless them and, of course, we the younger ones.
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“They deny themselves of many things sometimes even their food, for us. So, I don’t see how anybody can put a value on what their parents have done or will do for them. It is invaluable.”
Mr. Sunday Ibe, a business man, speaking on the business of parenting noted that it was not an easy job. According to him, molding the children’s character and meeting their financial and material needs take a lot out of parents. He posited that parents expend much energy on worry, counseling and prayers in raising children even when they do not have any guarantees that things will turn out well.
On the financial and material angle, Mr. Ibe noted that it was indeed a challenge, more so as there “was poverty in the land.”
He shared the opinion of the young ones that the love of parents can never be quantified. Hear him, “it’s not possible to quantify what parents do for their children. They gave you life. Nothing can pay for that. Even if you give them the whole world, it would still not be enough because they gave you life which is greater than anything else.
“Without them, how can the child exist? So parents give all and that is greater than anything material that one can offer. They gave everything that is in them. Even when there is nothing, they manage to give you something,”he said.
Mrs. Amina Ibrahim described parenting as a job that ends with death. According to her, once a parent, always a parent; “even when the children are grown up you still worry about them. You worry about whether you taught them everything you should, whether they will apply what you taught them, who they will marry, all sorts of things. At every stage in the children’s lives, there is always something for them to be concerned about,” she said.
She noted that to many of them, their children never really grow up, even when they have their own homes and are the ones taking care of the parents. For all these, she said nobody can ever pay back or say enough thank you.
Prince Nico Mbarga in his popular song, Sweet Mother, extolled the love and sacrifices of a mother for her child. Today, that song should read, ‘Sweet Parents’ because fathers give as much love and support as mothers in raising children.