Frenemies, according to Wikipedia, that refers to “a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry” or “a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy. We ALL have had one at one time or the other.

Let me highlight some of the characteristics of a frenemy using my experiences.

There’s this friend I used to have (used to because after she displayed her ways more times to be a coincidence, I left her). She was always nice, giving advice and all that.

We became very close so much that I was confiding in her. She knew all my dealings, the men in my life and every other thing you can think of.

One day, I made the mistake of having a night out with her and a guy that was toasting me. My thinking was, let my friend come out and enjoy and, fortunately, the guy behind the outing, said it was okay so I brought her along. The night went well and we got home, nothing worthy of note happened.

However, after that night I noticed she was acting funny. She won’t pick calls, won’t reply chats, just weird actions. I brushed it off. The guy we went out with, on the other hand, wasn’t checking for me like that again, I didn’t mind because he was just a toaster, right?

Fast forward to two months plus after that night outing, I went to a restaurant to eat and who did I see? Madam Adviser and Toaster. Shocked was an understatement. I walked up to them and greeted them o. I straight up told the girl ‘so, this is why you haven’t been replying messages.’ She was stuttering. I didn’t even look at the guy because he was not my problem. I didn’t create a scene sha, but they called for the bill and left. I sat down and ate what I came to eat.


After that incident, her roommate who I used to talk to occasionally told me she had surreptitiously exchanged numbers with the guy on the night we went out. She boldly  told him she had something important to tell him. My ‘friend’ told this man all my secrets, told him I had men in my life and that I was stringing him along. Now, was I stringing him along? Kinda lol but why is MY FRIEND telling him all that? He was good for a few more outings before I would have moved on. Apparently she liked the guy and wanted him for herself and decided to do that.

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That’s what a frenemy does! I deleted her phone number immediately and months after when the guy dumped her, guess who she came to complain to? 🤣🤣 I shut it down o and told her you made your bed, lay in it!

Someone said the other day ‘if when you fall out with a friend and they go about spreading what you shared while you were friend, that was an enemy all along masquerading as a friend.”  This is another way to know who is not your friend though this comes late.

Watch out if your friends seem jealous when something good happens to you, if they tend to put you down and say they are joking, you may just be dealing with a frenemy or two. And if you are the frenemy, desist o!! Leave that friend alone! There’s no point waiting to make them feel miserable because you’re not in their lives for the right reasons.

Till next time fam, stay slaying!