Marriages and Relationships are riddled with lots of issues especially in this digital age where technology has broken a lot of barriers. Cellphones, which are culprits have added complexity to relationships. It’s difficult to know where to draw the line where privacy is concerned. Trust, which is a major issue in relationships has flown out of the window.
Is it right to check your partner ’s phone with intent or without it? Would that be an invasion of privacy?
The Next Edition (www.nextedition.com.ng) posed this question to readers. Read below to see what wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends think about this snooping business.
Josephine Adams, Event Planner
“There is no easy way to answer this. I would say it depends on the motive. Motive being, is it to get the contacts of the children’s doctor? Or the school head teacher? Is it for the common good of the family? If it’s to check if your spouse is cheating then it’s a no no for me personally. Having been down this road before and seeing how draining it can be and how low it shattered my self esteem, I put an abrupt stop to it. My mental health, emotions and psychological state of mind is very important to me. In short, PEACE OF MIND is bliss.”
Jason Akoji, Photographer
“The question is what would I be looking for in the first place? I don’t think it’s right because it’s possible that certain messages may be misinterpreted especially if a spouse is in the jealous category. A simple hug smiley could spark an unnecessary argument.”
READ ALSO: 10 types of relationships you should avoid at all costs
Ed Stark, Entrepreneur
“Nah, I don’t think it is right to do so. I don’t check her phone and don’t expect her to check mine. There should be boundaries. She can obviously play with the phone, use it for calls and so on but checking and investigating is a trust issue indicator.”
Maya Grace, Entrepreneur
No, it’s not right. It literally screams distrust and no marriage can thrive on that. It will mar your relationship with your spouse rather than solve anything. Instead, if you don’t feel secure about the health of your relationship, COMMUNICATE your feelings with your spouse. If your relationship is healthy, checking your spouse phone irritates your partner, stirring up problems that don’t exist. If you think your partner is cheating then you will always find something to feel bad about. That too can affect your self esteem and build insecurities. No one needs that. However, if you’re in a relationship that you both can use each other’s phone without a fret, then you’re indeed in a very healthy relationship.”
King Eze, Business man
“I check my partner ‘s phone to update it and charge it. Anything outside that does not make sense.”
Ukpono Akpan,Customer Relations Officer
“It depends on the intent. There is a problem if you are checking on intent to snoop or find something incriminating,
otherwise nothing is wrong at all. In a perfect world, it will not be a subject up for debate. I mean I may need your phone to do something or just use for stuff, no crime in that.”
Chairs Akpabio, Pharmacologist
“As an FBI, I do the checking sometimes. Don’t judge! Because I’m not ready for someone’s son to come and take me unawares with the whole “side chic” thing. I hate ugly surprises, so I stay guided. However, I must say it’s risky if you aren’t ready to accept whatever you were searching to find. If your man is cheating and you snoop to find out, are you able to handle the situation?
I always keep my mind open for the worse that can happen. So when I snoop, it’s to protect my heart from future heartbreak and whatever I find, I handle it well.
Please, it’s not for everyone, because that thing you are searching, you will find it and may not be able to handle the outcome.”
Esitluv Nsima, Entrepreneur
“I would say don’t for your own sanity and peace of mind. Truth is there’ll always be something to raise your brows about on your partner’s phone (whether harmless or not). If you can, I’ll advise stay off each other’s phone. But really, couples should be more committed to their union and do away with the things that threaten their bond.”
READ ALSO: 5 ways to end a bad relationship for good
Aniekan Aniema, Chef
“It’s not right oh. It gives birth to unnecesdary suspicions and births unwanted issues/evils.”
Mary Ekpo, Chef
“With the level of insincerity these days, It’s a yes for me. It will aid you know who you are really with and know the truth about the relationship. I say this because i was in a relationship where I wasn’t checking phones and voila 10 months into the relationship, I discovered he had a girl pregnant and she was 8 months gone and he was in the know all along. How I got to know? I went to his place unexpectedly and she was there with the bump.
If I had checked phones I would have gotten hint and saved myself free from the terrible heartbreak I experienced.
So, it’s a full YES for me.”
Checking your partner ’s phone without permission is a breach of privacy. Do you think you could handle the pressure that would come with having access to your partner’s phone? Let us know below.
