How Far, Lagosians! As a newbie Lagosian, one of the things that will be a culture shock is having to deal with the TRAFFIC! My goodness! Does one ever get over the Lagos traffic? The driving, the different characters and then the hawking! What’s the craziest thing that has ever happened to you in Lagos traffic? We decided to take a look at some of the baffling things we feel stand out.
THE CRAZY DRIVERS
There are different categories to this. First, we have the ones that feel like they know EVERYTHING! You would think they read the traffic rule book cover to cover (If there is a book like that). Honestly, they make you doubt the rules you do know! The drivers in this category can make you really pause and wonder if you are right or not. These are the ones that can make you have an accident in all honesty. Please don’t at any point follow what they want you to do as long as you know you are right. Then there are the ones who are always in a hurry! What’s left is for them to have a siren attached to their cars! That’s the level of hurry we talking about here. The surprising part is as much as they are in a hurry some will almost run you off the road only to take the next turn! In your mind don’t you wonder, all that just to take the next turn? Haba! Lastly, we have the ones who are just there to frustrate your life. You may not be in a hurry but we are not here to drive at snail’s pace so please can we move! They are obviously not in a hurry to get anywhere! Give them a wide berth on the road please, we are all out here to try to get from point A to B not to follow someone whose time is not important.
THE HAWKING
Market must sell! We have seen it all! What is the craziest thing you’ve ever seen being sold in Lagos traffic? We once see meat being sold! Like meat! We were shocked and I was like let’s just bring all the items for soup and sell at once. (Abi, is that happening somewhere?) But I can get behind the hawking o, because there are some things sold in traffic that I find quite useful. If you forget your handkerchief, you can be sure you will find one in Lagos traffic. The other day, I saw bathroom slippers! And I was looking out to buy some house slippers so that was a life saver! Well, maybe not a life saver but you get what I mean. I’ve seen bed sheets, a fumigation man in full gear peddling the concoction, and so on. And then the puppy sellers – I don’t get it. This one is almost normal but I still don’t understand why. Why would I want to buy a puppy in traffic? Has anyone ever bought it? Please show by raising your hand via the comment section. I’m sure people do buy or else they would be out of business by now, but they are still here. Along Cement bus stop and Dopemu under bridge, we’ve seen someone selling a hoe! This wasn’t the most baffling thing though. We also see a hoe in traffic; a two-in-one with a rake at the other end! Who is going to buy that in traffic?
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THE WINDSHIELD WASHERS
We respect that life is all a hustle but this particular one is annoying. The way they wash my windshield leaves streaks on the car and that is unacceptable. I’d rather just offer them whatever money I have and be done with it! And then the way some of them are persistent even after you’ve waved them off! Now you’re the bad person when you refuse to ‘pay’ after the washing. This needs to go.
THE BEGGING – BOTH OFFICIAL AND NOT OFFICIAL
The official ones are the ones with some sort of aliment that go around with some people that are obviously from an organization. I usually wonder how they will ever make enough to feed and pay those people for their day’s work because I’m sure they get paid. How many years will it take to put together the amount of money needed for the surgery and recovery? At the risk of sounding insensitive, this has got to go! No one wants to see illnesses and weirdly shaped appendages so blatantly displayed! NO ONE! There has to be a better way this can be handled.
Then there’s the unofficial begging. The small children that try to clean your mirrors with their sleeves, the mums who show you their babies and indicate that they haven’t eaten. About the children have you ever felt violated and just a little bit afraid your car will get keyed? Or if your windows aren’t up that you will get spat on? I feel this ALL the time! I always feel slightly violated. And the mothers! Why are you bringing children into the world only to bring them out under the hot sun? Most people will give freely, but why must we be confronted with it all the time?
I’m sure there’s more craziness and drama that Lagos traffic has to offer us. Let us know in the comment section the craziest thing you’ve seen.
Although these things are plain old eye sores, they are also the pulse of Lagos. They are what make Lagos what it is, our own New York where all dreams are made of and realized.
