Parents have been advised not to over-indulge their children as a way of compensating for their absence in their homes as this unfortunate trend would produce children who are over dependent on adults.
These warnings were given by speakers at the 4th Annual Parenting Conference and Exhibition, held at Eko Hotel and Suites, Victoria Island, at the weekend.
According to Mrs Joy Isa, an Educator and Counselor, a lot of parents are in a hurry to provide and do everything for their kids. She said, “Parents are saying children who are dependent on adults. If a child complains that the home work is difficult, instead of the parents encouraging him to put in more effort into the homework, they will quickly sing off on the homework or organise a lesson teacher who simply does the child’s homework.” This according to her does not encourage the child to think for himself or herself.
Mrs. Isa urged parents to aspire to raise children with grit; children who have determination and who can persevere. Also, she said parents should be able to say no to their children’s demands as that will teach them patience as well as how to wait for rewards.
In his own contributions, Mr. Taiwo Akinlami, a Social Development and Public Interest Lawyer and Childhood Management and Child Development Expert, cautioned parents not to abuse children in the name of discipline.
According to him, the best form of raising well-rounded kids is by the example of the parents.
“I started smoking at the age of 12 because my father smoked. I started drinking earlier because my father drank and by the time I got to the university, I had started smoking Indian Hemp. All these were products of my childhood. The example I saw from my parents were not examples of strength and confidence. They were not bad or evil, they didn’t know how to raise children and unfortunately, they brought six of us to this world and we were prisoners to their examples. I tell parents today that your children are either victims or victors of your examples,” Mr. Akinlami said.
He, therefore, advised that even before having children people should first have a clear picture of what they want their children to be by the time they are living home and ask the question, “do I have what it takes to raise children?”
Speaking on how to create work – life balance, Mrs. Simi Nwogugu, Executive Director, Junior Achievement Nigeria, cautioned that in as much as mothers can and should delegate house chores, they must never delegate the upbringing of their children.
Lagos Mums is a non governmental organization that brings mums together to share their thoughts about being mothers and help each other to be better people and parents.
