A legal practitioner, Noel Udeoji, has described child sexual abuse as a complicated form of abuse that exposes the victim to torment, shame and guilt.
He said that sexually abused children may feel that they were responsible for the abuse or somehow brought it upon themselves which can lead to sexual and relationship problems as they grow older.
Udeoji also said that making children feel worthless or stupid are other forms of child abuse and neglect that may result to serious emotional harm.
Udeoji stated this during a recent sensitization programme of constituents of Onitsha North/South Federal Constituency at Odoakpu, Onitsha in Anambra State.
The event was sponsored by a member of the National Assembly, Linda Chuba Ikpeazu in collaboration with the National Directorate on Employment, NDE.
“It is important to recognize that sexual abuse doesn’t always involve body contact. Exposing a child to sexual situations or material is sexually abusive, whether or not touching is involved. Sexually abused children may feel that they are responsible for the abuse or somehow brought it upon themselves.
“The shame of sexual abuse makes it very difficult for children to come forward. They may worry that others won’t believe them, will be angry with them, or that it will tear their family apart. Because of these difficulties, false accusations of sexual abuse are not common, so if a child confides in you, take that child seriously.
“Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse, often struggle with a feeling of being damaged,” he said.
He said that ignoring children’s needs or putting them in unsupervised and dangerous situations or exposing them to sexual situations are also forms of abuse that should not be ignored.
According to him, “If one suspects that a child is suffering from abuse or neglect, it is important to speak out. By catching the problem as early as possible, both the child and the abuser can get the help they need.”
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Udeoji said that all types of abuse and neglect leave lasting scars in the lives of the victims but that emotional scar has long lasting effects throughout life, damaging a child’s sense of self, future relationships, and ability to function at home, work or in school.
He said that one of the effects of such abuses is lack of trust and relationship difficulties.
“This can lead to difficulty maintaining relationships in adulthood. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.
” If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. As they grow up, abused kids may neglect their education or settle for low-paying jobs because they don’t believe they are worth more.”
He listed the instances of emotional abuse to include constant belittling, shaming, humiliating and calling names and making negative comparisons to others; telling a child, he is no good, worthless, bad, or a mistake and frequent yelling and threatening the child.
Other instances, according to him, are ignoring or rejecting a child as punishment, giving them the silent treatment. Limiting physical contact with a child-no hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection as well as exposing a child to violence against others, whether it is against the other parent, a sibling, or even a pet.
According to him, “Abusive behaviour comes in many forms, but the common denominator is the emotional effect on the child. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table, the end result is a child that feels unsafe, uncared for, and alone.
“Abused children cannot express emotions safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger. They may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the painful feelings.
“Physical abuse involves physical harm or injury to the child. It may be the result of a deliberate attempt to hurt the child or excessive physical punishment. Many physically abusive parents insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline-ways to make children learn to behave. But there is a big difference between using physical punishment to discipline and physical abuse,” he said.
